A Lesson
by tookkia
Summary: Oneshot."Daddy what were you and mommy doing last night?I just want to know what kind of game it was so Jake and I could—" With Renesmee's fourth bday around the corner, Edward nostalgically considers his gem of a daughter, right until she drops the bomb


**Just a little something that came to me lol. A quick one-shot with Edward and Nessie literally written on a sudden whim in under an hour haha. Read, review, and enjoy!**

**And of course the characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.**

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Two more days.

I sighed, my face dropping dramatically into my waiting hands. Two more days till Nessie's birthday. Her fourth birthday; physically and mentally, however, closer to her tenth…the said munchkin came running up to me suddenly, jumping and pushing aside my face from my clasped hands to make room for the far more important object: _her_.

—_and Alice said there'd be a pony carousel this time! My friends from school are going to love that! And Claire too, it's too bad we don't go to the same school, even if she is younger, I bet Seth could convince Mrs. Healy to let join, ever since he met her she's had this weird look in her eye—_

I smiled at her, her sparkling eyes dancing wildly with excitement. She curled comfortably into the folds of my upper body, her fingers playing nimbly with a silver chain I'd received as a gift from Bella.

—_and Jake better not ever act like that around any girls! I won't ever speak to him if he does! And I won't ever let him win in our races, ever—_

Another sigh, this one heavier…many of her thoughts had suddenly been centered on these jealous antics. Jealousy stemmed from nonexistent roots at that. It had been as ridiculous as an over-friendly waitress at a local restaurant. Jacob had merely smiled when handing her the tip…but of course, it was enough to get Renesmee completely riled up. I remembered the storming, four foot five inches, rapid girl that came through the front door that night. Very surprising and—after a minute long argument between her and Rosalie over donated blood—quite amusing.

There were moments in her short life thus far that I found her demanding nature completely uncalled for…then again, she was the only child in a house full of admiring vampires and one werewolf. How was a spoiled, imprinted on, half-vampire supposed to turn out otherwise?

—_I wonder what he got me for my birthday…Maybe an actual pony! Oh wait, what if I accidentally drank its blood—_

I laughed silently at her musings. Renesmee was the light of our lives. There was never a dull moment in her presence. She was beautiful, smart, loving, eager, talented, and so much more. And yet…as perceptive as she was, she hadn't a clue why she was suddenly thinking along _those_ lines, lines that began the blurry contour between what was soon to be a confusing transition in her relationship with Jacob…it was a sure sign the deeper thoughts were close to surfacing.

—_I bet Alice got me something amazing! She never seems to mind how expensive things are, not like mommy. Hmmm, maybe daddy can convince her to get me a motorcycle like Jake's, a real shiny one that goes super fast—_

My lip pulled up from one corner. She'd inherited the Cullen taste for fast and shiny objects—

—_maybe if I had my own I could get real good, and beat Jake! I can't believe I actually fell off before we even took off from his house last time—_

I frowned. Apparently I wasn't the only one she'd inherited 'qualities' from. I recalled an earlier time, a more difficult time…Bella was so clumsy. I chuckled, recalling the embarrassed blush that crawled across her beautiful face on more than one occasion. So endearing…

—_wonder what mommy was doing to daddy last night. It kind of looked like fun, a new game maybe? Maybe Jake and I could play—_

I froze.

Last night.

Bella and I had…

But Nessie was spending the night at Carlisle's!

—_I do hope mommy's shielding me right now. I think she is, daddy hasn't said anything yet, he would flip if he found out Jake took me cliff diving last night—_

I low growl began to grow in my throat.

—_thank goodness they were making so much noise when I snuck in to get some dry clothes—_

I felt my eyes beginning to bug out in what Bella classified as early signs of my 'overreacting,' also known as 'the Edward syndrome.' I took a deep breath and focused on the beautiful little girl on my lap.

"Renesmee," I finally spoke to her, masking my face as expertly as I'd come to master. She released her light hold on the chain and looked up at me expectantly, a dazzling smile revealing to the world it was possible to make an angel more beautiful.

"Hi, daddy."

I raised an eyebrow at her, a knowing look. For a long moment, she played ignorant, settling back to playing with the chain.

"_Renesmee_," I said again, this time with more meaning. She peered up at me shyly.

Guilty as charged.

For another long second she simply stared me down, her brown eyes unblinking, her brow furrowed in thought.

_Uh oh, I think he knows…_

I simply nodded.

She sighed and threw her arms around me. "I'm sorry daddy!" she pleaded. "It was Jake's idea! I didn't even want to go! I said to him 'Jacob Black, now you listen here. My daddy wouldn't want his darling daughter out at this hour.' But he told me no! And then he dragged me out of bed—oh but it turned out to be so much fun!"

_Yes, as if Jacob would EVER say no to Nessie…_

_Where did this girl get the idea her lies were believable?_

She was still 'storytelling' of course—

"He said that even mommy had tried it back when she was human! So I knew I'd be fine! You have to believe me!"

—and finally struck gold.

I hesitated, tensing at the allusion. That was not a time I liked to recall, it involved too many painful memories. My momentary pause, however, was all my sharp and inquisitive daughter needed.

"Daddy, what were you and mommy doing last night?" she suddenly asked, her innocent face tilted questioningly.

My body stiffened. I wasn't expecting the abrupt question, and so I did what any parent would do.

"Now wait just one moment, young lady, we're not done talking about your little rendezvous—" I began, but she easily waved it off, cutting me off simultaneously.

"Eh, it was no big deal, daddy, seriously. It was like diving into a big swimming pool. Plus I said I was sorry! So what were you two doing? It sounded like fun!" she said, her eyes eager to be let in on the secret.

_No big deal? _

_I said I was sorry?_

_Where did she get the nerve to dismiss these kind of things!_

"Daddy? Daddy, hello?" she was saying.

—_hmmm, this must be something good, daddy's getting the crazy eyes again—_

"Crazy eyes?" I blurted out. Nessie at least had the decency to look ashamed this time, but it was short-lived. She began to beg.

"Pleeeeeeaaasse? Tell me and I promise I won't do anything bad for the next month! I just want to know what kind of game it was so Jake and I could—"

But my mind was already reeling in the horror my ignorant daughter was suggesting.

_Jacob and Nessie, doing what Bella and I had…_

_Making the same sounds…_

_JACOB AND MY TEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!_

"OH NO YOU WON'T!" I roared, fixing my 'crazy eyes' on her. Her mouth dropped into a pout, her eyes confused and slightly hurt. She cringed away from me and I immediately felt bad.

"Nessie, sweetie," I began again, softening my voice, "what I meant was—"

"No!" she screeched at me, glaring defiantly. "I'm telling grandma on you!"

Yeah, Esme was the least of my problems right now…there was going to be one less wolf in this world when I got through with Jacob. Nessie would have never heard or seen anything if he hadn't been stupid enough to take her in the first place!

"And I'm going to tell her to make you tell me what you and mommy were doing! And—and—and Jake's going to beat you up if you don't!"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at that…I highly doubted Jacob would be inclined to explaining the basics of sex to her…not that he'd get the chance anyway; I had a lesson to teach the mutt, starting with beating him into a pulp.

Nessie was already on her feet, her small face glowering down at me. She was so used to getting whatever she wanted…

—_if he doesn't tell me then I'm just going to sneak up on them again, then they'll have to tell me—_

I narrowed my eyes at her. Now that was NOT going to happen.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen," I said, standing up as well to tower over her, "you're too young for this conversation—"

This was definitely the wrong thing to say. Her eyes widened identically to my own and she interrupted angrily.

"_I'M NOT A BABY!"_

"Hey, hey," another voice suddenly chimed in, the bulking figure stepping quickly to Nessie's side, "what's going on guys? Ness what's wrong, honey?"

I relaxed my face, taking another unnecessary breathe as I looked over to the added person and smiled.

"Nessie walked in on Bella and I last night during her little late night outing," I said nonchalantly, "she wants to know about sex. Good luck, Jacob."

And with that I turned around and made my way back into the house, Jacob's screaming curses and thoughts a mere tickle in my mind.

"Tell me about sex, Jake!"

_Edward, you son of a—_"Uh—you want to know—uh, that is—s-sex—well, you see, uh…"

I smirked as I grabbed hold of Bella's extended arm, who eyed me with questioning eyes.

"What did you do, Edward?" she asked, narrowing them slightly.

"Just teaching a lesson, that's all."

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**Review please :)**


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